Upfronts 2011-12: Trump fires self as prez

Remember all that nonsense about Donald Trump running for president? The Donald put the rumours to rest today in New York at NBC’s annual upfront for advertisers, officially declaring himself out of the race. “I will not be running for President, as much as I’d like to,” he told the crowd gathered at the Hilton Hotel in Manhattan. Instead, he will continue on with the Celebrity Apprentice. “We’ve raised tens of millions of dollars for charity. We’ve never raised so much as we have in the last season.” He said the NBC brass begged him to forget about war with China and stick with his Mark Burnett-produced reality series, which is heading into a 12th edition. He made no mention of geting undressed by Obama and “Weekend Update” anchor Seth Myers at the recent correspondent’s dinner in Washington.
Besides, why waste hair teasing time taking calls from goofballs like Stephen Harper and that guy in England when you could be hanging with Busey and Meatloaf? “We’re going to continue making lots and lots of money for charity,” says Trump.
Comedians have already started goofing on Trump’s decision. “The nation’s comedians took to the streets today, begging Mr. Trump to reconsider,” joked Andy Borowitz on The Borowitz Report. “A huge roar came up from the crowd when Mr. Trump made a brief appearance, reassuring the comedians that he would continue to be a laughingstock in the private sector.”
The season finale of The Celebrity Apprentice, down to the cowboy and Marlee Matlin, airs Sunday on NBC and Global.

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