What the cuts could do to the CBC schedule

In the wake of recently announced cutbacks, TV Feeds My Family has obtained the top secret, totally revised CBC schedule. Here’s what viewers will have to look forward to next fall once the $115 million chop to the annual parliamentary appropriation starts impacting the schedule.

STEVEN OR CHRIS–Lifestyle
Hard times at the network force the daytime talk show hosts to alternate throughout the week. Today: Steven demonstrates how to siphon gas; making pate out of toothpaste.

BEST RECIPE EVER–Cooking. Today (again): Kraft dinner and hotdogs.

MICHAEL EVERY OTHER TUESDAY & THURSDAY–Comedy
Michael (Matt Watts) confronts his fear of improvising after the CBC budget for original scripts is slashed.

JUST THREE LAUGHS–Comedy
Debut; marked down from Just Four Laughs.
MR. D’ANGELO–Comedy/Infomercial
Ubiquitous Toronto businessman Frank D’Angelo plays a laid-back teacher in this comedy that also features occasional references to several D’Angelo brands. Tonight: a student gets a reputation for being a “Cheetah”.
LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE BUSES–Comedy
Debut: in this spin off from the earlier series, an imam from out west (Zaib Shaikh) becomes a TTC conductor. 
BEING THE NATIONAL–News
CBC news anchor Peter Mansbridge goes back in time to when the network had the resources to put on a decent nightly news show. Tonight: Trudeau sweeps to victory.
DRAGONS’ DEN OF INCREDIBLE SAVINGSHome shopping. Items from Dragons’ Den are offered for sale. Today: the set and the lighting.
REPUBLIC OF DOLE–Drama
Malachy and Jake are forced to collect unemployment insurance after CBC runs out of money for guest villains. Repo man: Russell Crowe.
 
THE NATURE OF THONGSScience. In a re-boot aimed at broadening the appeal of this long-running series, Dr. David Suzuki explores how thongs contribute to global warming.
THIS HOUR HAS 22 MINUTES OF MARK CRITCH–Comedy It’s never explained, but every other cast member of this show seems to have vanished. Tonight: Critch ambushes himself on Parliament Hill. 

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