Sun News and My House now Must Carry

In a surprise move, the Canadian Radio-Television Telecommunications Commission announced today it was granting Sun News network’s request to become a must-carry TV channel.
“They just kept asking, over and over again,” CRTC chairman Jean-Pierre Blais explained in Ottawa yesterday.
Mandatory carriage means the little-watched news network will be forced on consumers in every household in Canada. “We welcome the chance to see cable and satellite bills go up,” said consumer watchdog group Quebecorpalooza, Inc.
The Toronto-based station requested the move after losing a reported $17 million a year since its launch in April of 2011. In an effort to, as Blais put it, “just make them shut up already,” the CRTC granted the request before hearings were scheduled in Ottawa later this month.
In other news, the Bank of Canada has declared my mortgage to be “must pay” for all other households in Canada.
That means all other Canadians will now be forced to contribute to the cost of my mortgage. “It was just costing too much,” said me in a statement outside my Brampton home Sunday. “Canadians need my home to counter all the well maintained homes elsewhere throughout my neighbourhood.”
Both moves go into effect April 1st.

2 Responses to “Sun News and My House now Must Carry”

  1. Ha ha. And yet, just a couple of the items of my past week online (Sat, Mar. 23 to Sun, Mar. 31):

    1) What happened to Omni2. (It had gone dark, OTA, for quite a while. Remember what I recently griped about as to not-hearing of any job-mops or any notice of thanks? Rogers gets to quietly restore a section of its 3 separately channelled and revenued ‘biggest market’ OTA broadcast outlets.)
    and
    2) Sunshine. Brampton’s highest-paid-in-Canada-Mayor;s salary is “Must Pay”. Yesterday I also mentioned a cruelly posted 125K job ad of RBC’s at Service Canada.

    Reply
  2. It is just realistic enough to pass for a legitimate article that shows some of your personal feelings about the subject. Having read it on 2 April it took me a moment to think to check the date of publication.

    Reply

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