Survivor was up against the Women’s hockey final Thursday night so I missed it. The good news is Canada won.
Fortunately, I remembered to PVR Survivor, which if you don’t know by now airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on Global—just as it has this entire century.
The immunity challenge was some sort of kinky mud wrestling event where the two tribes went to war with dirty pillows. Heroes won with ease. It was like a replay of the women’s hockey final.
Remember that hit Ovechkin put on Jagr? That was nothing compared to James’ take out of Randy. Just destroyed him. As a result, Heroes got coffee and snax and Villains had to go listen to Jeff ask “do past alliances factor in here?” for the umpteenth time at tribal council. The answer is yes Jeff, write it down.
There was a bunch of editing to try and make it look like Parvati was a goner, but that little tramp didn’t win a million bucks for nothing. She already has the men in her tribe under her witchy spell. She stood in the lake, scrubbed the mud off her tan lines and took Coach apart quicker than that hit James’ put on Randy. At the vote, Randy got clobbered again. He threw his red tribal thingy in the fire and stomped off to loser hotel, where he told Coach he’d see him soon and have a drink ready. I can’t see Randy saving any.
Also Parvati called Jerri a pathetic old cougar. And Russell hid a knife. Next week: Coach gets creepy-weepy.
Amber Dowling (TV Guide Canada): “Survivor has changed. Just ask Colby, who shook his head at Tom last night and mused, “I don’t think I can play this game,” or Steph, who admitted in her exit interview the real players had zero chance thanks to pre-formed alliances.” Read the rest of Dowling’s recap here.
Michael Bolen (The National Post): “The Heroes finally get a challenge for which no brains are required. The Villains hone in on the Parvati’s dangerous charisma but can’t bring themselves to deal with the threat. Russ courts the temptress and plots for his inevitable clash with Rob.” Read the rest of Bolen’s recap here.
Kat Angus (Dose.ca): “I really need to stop believing the “next time on Survivor” promos, because last week, it intimated that James’ bullying tendencies would get out of control and the rest of the Heroes tribe would rebel against him. But other than a civil discussion at the start of the episode and a show of strength during the challenge (which doesn’t count, because, you know, it’s a challenge), the “James is a jerk” storyline was a complete non-starter.” Read the rest of Angus’ recap here.