Hillbilly Handfishin’, Storage Wars–what next? A whole lotta stupid is comin’ atcha as networks stoop as low as they can go in their endless search for cheap and unchallenging content. 
Notice went out the other day about a new show from schlock-meisters Animal Planet called American Stuffers (premiering Jan. 5). It’s about a family of Arkansas taxidermists who stuff pets for a living! As they might have joked on Monty Python, took four hours to stuff one cat. Wasn’t dead yet!
Press releases for the following actual TV show premieres arrived today via email. I swear I’m not making any of this up:

  • Hammer & Chew: Lords of Junk (Jan. 7, 10 p.m., CMT Canada). The notion of “country music lifestyle programming” slide back to the dawn of Hee Haw with this reality series about two dudes–John “The Hammer” Netherway, and his buddy Chris Chew–who pick through trash for a living. Don’t laugh–they could be network programmers!
  • My Cat from Hell (Sat., Jan. 7, U.S. Animal Planet). “Cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy tackles the most catastrophic cat cases he’s ever encountered.” One case involved a feline attacking clients at a Pilates business. Meow-ouch!
  • Pit Boss (Sat. Jan. 7, also Animal Planet). Shorty Rossi and his team of little people from the talent management company “Shortywood” tame abandoned pit bulls. Talk about underdogs! Not outlaw enough for ya? Animal Planet is also airing a third season of Pit Bulls & Parolees (Saturdays at 10 p.m.). 
  • Canada’s Smartest Person (March, 2012, CBC). The production company behind Outlaw In-Laws brings us this search for Canada’s smartest person. Not just book smart, or IQ smart, oh no. CBC wants versatile smart. Contestants will have to “uncover lies in a sea of half-truths, navigate an obstacle course of lasers at break-neck speed or compose a film score in less than five minutes.” The winner will represent CBC at the next CRTC hearings. 

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