When it comes to late night talk show exits, Stephen Colbert will have to aim high to surpass those of Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien and Craig Ferguson.
Carson set the bar high on May 21st, 1992 – his second last episode after 30 years as the King of Late Night on The Tonight Show. On his final broadcast a night later, after an hour of highlights from the past, he sat on a stool and bid his audience “a very heartfelt good night.”
What viewers remember most, however, was his second last episode where he welcomed two can’t miss guests: Robin Williams and Bette Midler. Williams opened with a prop gag, pushing a rocking chair for Johnny through the rainbow-coloured curtains. He then demonstrated a new way to imitate president George H. W. Bush.
“You take John Wayne,” said Williams, standing, “and you tighten up his ass.”
The word ass was bleeped out with what sounded like an antique car horn.
“We’re out of here tomorrow night,” quipped Carson as Williams kept pushing the envelope. “What do I care?”
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Williams was followed by Midler who paid tribute to the host to the tune of “You Made Me Love You.” (One lyric: “I love the jokes you’re floggin’/When you are monologue-in.)
Midler was never more divine, segueing into an impromptu, tender duet with Carson on his favourite song, the melancholy ballad, “Here Comes That Rainy Day.” That was followed by Midler over by the piano singing, “One for my Baby (And One More for the Road)” By song’s end, Carson and half of North America had to wipe away a tear.
Midler won an Emmy for her performance.
The final episode of Craig Ferguson’s final Late, Late Show on CBS was December 19, 2014. A series of shows with guest hosts followed in that slot until James Corden took over in March of 2015.
Ferguson spent 10 years in the 12:35 network slot. He served up puppetry and performance art, a show that hung on his mood like nobody since Jack Paar. It was quite the high wire act, an almost defiant hour in a late night genre that thrives on same old conventions. He delivered one last, very live monologue, speaking, as always, straight from the gut.
After talking to his one and only live guest, Jay Leno (cheeky of Ferguson to have the rival of his boss, producer David Letterman, on his final show), he went out with a beautiful bit of madness. After telling skeleton sidekick Geoff he probably learned nothing the past ten years in late night, the scene dissolved into a daffy dream sequence. Secretariat pulls off his head to reveal Bob Newhart under the front half of that costume. Cut to Craigy in bed with his old sitcom pal Drew Carey in a nod to Newhart‘s best-ever finale. There’s a pan over to a night table with a snow globe on it featuring miniature likenesses of Craigy, the horse and the skeleton. Damn, it’s a salute to another fondly-remembered TV finale, that of St. Elsewhere. “Don’t Stop Believin’” fades in, and then everything suddenly cuts to black–It’s a Sopranos full stop, a TV triple play.
Conan O’Brien’s final episode as host of The Tonight Show was broadcast on January 22, 2010. O’Brien was unceremoniously dumped from the job he always wanted after seven short months when NBC execs had second thoughts about giving him the gig. This after making him wait five years before moving Jay Leno out of the job – only to put the older host back on in prime time ahead of O’Brien and then handing Jay the late night job again.
O’Brien, however, took the high road, putting on a “Must See” exit. He opened by telling the 280 people crammed into the bleachers that “we have exactly one hour to steal every single item in the studio.”
O’Brien’s Tonight Show took full advantage of their Universal Studios theme park setting, shot cannons and held motorcycle stunts outside and even roped the host into several special effects stunts inside the sound stage.
After the first break, Steve Carell came out and did an “exit interview” bit where he fired O’Brien as if he was George Clooney from Up In The Air.
After the next break, O’Brien introduced the first guy who called and offered support when news of the whole NBC upheaval broke–Neil Young. Old Neil played “Long May You Run,” a sweet, passionate send off for O’Brien.
After another break, with the clock ticking down on his Tonight Show career, O’Brien took the opportunity to speak from the heart. He distanced himself from all the bitterness being hurled at the network. “This company has been my home for most of my adult life,” he stated. “I want to thank NBC for making it all possible, I really do.”
He said leaving Tonight “was the hardest thing I have ever had to do,” and that–as Jack Paar famously concluded five decades earlier–“it was the best job in the world.” For seven months I got to do it, he said. “I do not regret one second of anything we’ve done here.”
He thanked the fans for their massive outpouring of support, with people camping out all night in the rain just to get stand-by tickets into the final tapings.
He also aimed a plea directly at younger viewers: “Please don’t be cynical,” he said. “Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
There was time for one last surprise, a big band send-off with Will Ferrell–O’Brien`s first Tonight guest–playing lead in a rock jam of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.” Max Weinberg on drums, ZZ Top guitarist Bill Gibbons on lead axe, Beck and pedal guitar whiz Robert Randolph and O’Brien himself jamming on guitar.
Pretty much a fantasy exit for O’Brien, who earned every ovation he got in what had to be an emotional roller coaster of a week.
According to the overnights, 13.76 million Americans watched David Letterman say goodbye to The Late Show on May 20, 2015, his biggest CBS audience since 1994.
Announcer Alan Kalter brought him out with, “And now a boy from a small town in Indiana…” Then there was one last dash across the stage.
Dave vamped during the applause, showing off the lining of his jacket while Paul Shaffer played “A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody.”
There were good zingers in the last monologue. “It’s beginning to look like I won’t get The Tonight Show,” he quipped.
The most showy part of the final episode was the All-Star Top-10 List, read by a murder’s row of elite Late Show guests. The category was “Top 10 Things I’ve Always Wanted to Say to Dave.”
Alec Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Steve Martin, Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Murray all had to be there. Jim Carrey killed with his self-mocking “I’ve always found you to be a bit of an over-actor” gag. Chris Rock’s zinger about being “glad your show is being given to another white guy” line was another home run.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus got the biggest laugh with, “Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale.”
There was a peek behind the scenes, a few minutes of Dave coming to work, goofing around with the producers and writers, getting prepped. At the end, Letterman remained true to his ballsy self, telling the audience to “save a little for my funeral.” He praised the guy who hired him at CBS, Howard Stringer. He went on about the theatre, how it had been transformed from a rat trap to a comedy cathedral. “What a wonderful place to do a show; what tremendous music this place has housed.”
He thanked the writers and gave them more credit for the show then he felt he himself deserved. He thanked every member of the band. He managed to give shout outs to Biff Henderson and many other staffers, some with him since the very beginning. He thanked his mother.
Then, suddenly, the wrap up. “All right. That’s pretty much all I got. For the last time on a television program, thank you, and good night.”
Ever the pro, he signed out without a tear and handed his show over to The Foo Fighters. They rocked out the last five minutes as the clips rained down, glimpses of 33 years of treasured memories. Among the last images: home movies of his son Harry learning to ski. Left behind was a world full of stupid pets and people who will never know their cuts of meat.
