Survivor 20 Week One: No Sugar Tonight

I’ve been tricked into filing a weekly recap of the new Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains which will appear here each Friday morning. I’m the “Rudy” of a panel of experts who will also weigh in each week: Amber Dowling, editor of TV Guide Canada, Michael Bolen, who blogs about Survivor for The National Post at theampersand.ca and Kat Angus, TV editor at Dose.ca. My cranky comments are below with links to the other three after that. As it has for a decade, Survivor airs Thursdays at 8 on Global/CBS. The tribe has spoken!

Fire up the tiki torch and pass the Doritos. There was more boob action on Survivor: Heroes vs Villains last night than at an Adam Giambrone “Meet the Candidate” meeting.
This decade-long bikini contest got off to a freak-flag-flying start with a little girl-on-girl sand wrestling. Sugar had her ‘kini top ripped right off but still managed to cross the “finger” line. Besides swimsuits, shoulders and toes and Jeff Probst’s ego got dislocated.
The so-called “Heroes” tribe won the reward challenge but the real action was over at the Villain camp. This Russell dude is one cocky little hat-wearer, isn’t he? Russell went directly from Survivor 19 to this contest and the home court advantage showed. He had key alliances all sewn up by the second commercial break.
These “All-Star” deals are extra fun because these Guild members all know how to work the camera. Cirie’s “I’m a gangsta in an Oprah suit” crack was the howler of the night.
Was it just me or did the evil love connection between Coach and Jerri seem extra creepy in night vision? More believable was the bromance between JT and James.
After Amanda started covering up her spectacular green bikini top with her Survivor bandanna, I took a Doritos break for an hour or so and when I returned the kids were building boats and not solving puzzles. At the Swiss Family Robinson tribal council treehouse, the loser good guy team went Sugar free. Then came the Best Next Week on Survivor ever—Boston Rob dies! Although he doesn’t because he was on Letterman this week. Whew!

Amber Dowling (TV Guide Canada): “Have you ever thought, “Hey, maybe it would be fun to go back to high school, just to see if I could do it all again?” But then realized you’re not in the physical nor mental state to undertake such a task? That’s the impression I got from last night’s Survivors, especially those who haven’t played since All-Stars.” Read the rest of her recap here.

Michael Bolen (The National Post): “When it comes to reality TV, the reality rarely meets the hype. Yet, despite the unparalleled publicity, the debut of Heroes vs. Villains did not disappoint. And how could it? With such a stellar cast the action starts on day one.” You can read the rest of Bolen’s recap here.

Kat Angus (Dose.ca): “The Survivor premiere was everything I hoped it would be and more. Scheming! Wrestling! Broken bones! Pixelated boobs! And that was just in the first hour.” You can read the rest of Angus’ recap here.