Spitzer Take

Those folks at The Colbert Report know an editing opportunity when they see one. Here, caught on YouTube (the clip on the Comedy Central Colbert Report site is geoblocked, dammit), is a subtle bit of mischief from last week’s re-broadcast of their February interview with former New York Governor/whore monger Eliot Spitzer.

Spitzer has been a Godsend to late night talk show hosts who, between the strike and steadily declining ratings, have had a tough year. Maybe that’s why these jokes seem more aggressive than usual:
“More details are starting to come out about the $5,000 prostitute. Her name’s Ashley Alexandra Dupre. She’s a 22-year-old aspiring musician. I believe she is classically trained on the flute.” –Jay Leno
“Last night, what a horrible audience. It’s not so much that they were horrible. They were just quiet. My God, it was like dinner at the Spitzers.” –David Letterman
“I guess you heard the big news. Governor Eliot Spitzer, governor of New York, resigned today. He left his resignation on the night table with a $300 tip.” –David Letterman
“So, you have this triangle, the governor, his wife and this hooker. Or, as they’re calling themselves, You, Me and Dupre.” –Jay Leno
“What the Spitzers are saying now is they need some time alone. Eliot and his wife need some time alone now. And I thought this was very nice, Senator Larry Craig from Idaho, when he heard this, he offered his vacation restroom on the lake.” –David Letterman
“She did an interview, in an interview the call girl linked to Spitzer said that she doesn’t want to be thought of as a monster. Does not want to be thought of as a monster, she said unless of course somebody has $4,000 and is into role playing.” –Conan O’Brien
“Lieutenant Governor David Paterson will be sworn in as his replacement. Paterson says his top priority is fiscal responsibility. He wants to cut back on government spending. Especially on whores.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Republican presidential candidate John McCain is in the news. John McCain says he’s trying to find a vice presidential running mate. Not only that, McCain is also trying to find his reading glasses and his car keys. … He’s an older gentleman. That’s the idea there. You’ll be hearing more of those in the next nine months, because that’s our take. Until he gets a whore.” –Conan O’Brien
“Today he held another press conference he said he needed to leave to begin the difficult process of healing. Not emotionally — his wife hit him in the face with a George Foreman Grill.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“The New York Times today found Spitzer’s hooker. She went by the name of Kristen, but her real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. I think this is from her MySpace page [on screen: picture of Dupre]. If I were him, at the press conference I would have held up her picture and said, ‘Look, what are you supposed to do?'” –Jimmy Kimmel
“You know, I’m a half-full kind of guy. I always try to put a positive spin on stuff. Sure, it’s a horrible story. On the other hand, you look at it this way, he was supporting New York’s number one industry.” –David Letterman
“This is the guy who vowed to clean up New York. But to be fair, he did bring prostitution to its knees one girl at a time.” –Jay Leno