Golden Globes about as funny as a flu shot

Sunday’s 76th Annual Golden Globes was truly a star-studded affair. Too bad the opening monologue was such a bust.

Co-hosts Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh (above) walked on stage at the Beverly Hilton and performed  what seemed like the worst Saturday Night Live sketch ever. Smug irony just doesn’t sell anymore in 2019, not with half the room poised to celebrate breakthroughs in the #metoo and “timesup movements. I half expected the opening monologue to show up later in the In Memoriam salute.

You had to feel for Oh who stood tall, looked smashing and gamely delivered. Later that evening, she received a trophy for her acting but deserved another for nerves and guts. There simply wasn’t one memorable monologue line on the night.

Ricky Gervais made a great show in year’s past of pulling everyone’s pants down, including his own, at the Golden Globes. Oh’s mom and dad added charm and sweetness to the evening when they cheered on their daughter’s win, but they must have hid under the table at the inoculation bit. That’s when Samberg and Oh brought out dozens of extras dressed as interns to deliver flu shots to the already heavily-medicated celebs in the lower pit.

Samberg swung and missed bad in an attempt to bring some edge to the night with a quip about disgraced CBS chair Leslie Moonves. The stink from the line hung in the air as the camera panned over to uneasy presenters Johnny Galecki, Kaley Cuoco and Jim Parsons, all zillionaires thanks, in part, to Moonves’ casting confirmation.

A bad opening, however, is a gift to speedy twitter typists. I got plenty of traction Sunday night tweeting that “basically all the good material for this year’s #GoldenGlobes went into Lady Gaga’s dress.”

That was an easy one. Comedy Rule #74: always goof on anyone with “Gag” as part of their name.

There were some high points to the show. Carol Burnett made everyone want to turn back the clock with her elegant, graceful remarks. Beg her to open the show next year.

Patricia Arquette was a well-deserved winner as Best Actress in a limited series with her astonishing transformation as a prison seamstress in Escape at Dannamore (Crave). Rachel Brosnahan was also a worthy winner for Amazon’s The Marvelous Ms. Meisel.

Kudos also to Michael Douglas and executive producer Chuck Lorre for wins in my favourite new TV comedy, Netflix’s The Kominsky Method. Wished Alan Arkin had been singled out there too.

On the film side, cheers to whoever overserved “Vice” star Christian Baile. He made a hell of a speech accepting for Best Actor as former US vice president Dick Chaney — going so far as to thank Satan! Jeff Bridges got a little ramble-y, but pulled it out in accepting the GG’s Best Dude award.

Finally, Jamie Lee Curtis deserves credit for paying homage, with her white hair and dress, to Edna, the Chartwell retirement home lady.

The Golden Globes drew close to 16 million US viewers, up slightly over last year’s numbers. It was likely greatly boosted by NBC’s Sunday Night Football over-run of a tight — and bitterly disappointing if you’re a Bears’ fan — NFL playoff game.

LATE EXTRA: In Canada, The 76th Annual Golden Globes drew an estimated, overnight 2,771,000 viewers over its three hour and twenty-three minute span. Unlike in the US, it outperformed its Sunday Night Football lead-in, with 1,530,000 catching The Eagles eeking out a win on CTV.